I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
