i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
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