so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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