I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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