I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
