Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
