I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
birth control should be required to get into college
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
