So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
