I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
