Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
