I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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