Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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