Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
