Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Congratulations! We have a period
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