thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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