a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
