Have you finally orgasmed yet?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
