it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize