I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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