I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
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I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
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Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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