Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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