Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
