cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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