i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
My bed is full of blood and feathers
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
