so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
3pm strippers are depressing
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
