Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
why is half of my head shaved?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
