all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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