What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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