I checked into jail on foursquare
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
