sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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