Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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