u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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