we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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