whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
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I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
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I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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