she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
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My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
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I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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