Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
