why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
