To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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