the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I think I sprained my soul last night
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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