Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Then you guys just all showered together...?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
