K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
We got so high we made milksteak
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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