Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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