The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
