if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
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Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
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I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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