Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
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