We're like a lot better than the average bears
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
