It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
