i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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