don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
