I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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