The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize