Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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