I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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