she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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