im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
