it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
